I love my job. Having a home daycare allows me to be home with my daughter, it allows me to touch the lives of many children, it allows me to do housework throughout the day so I can just relax in the evenings, I don't have a boss to answer to, and the list of perks could go on and on. One of the less obvious benefits is that I get to say things throughout the day that most other people will never say through the course of an entire lifetime. For example:
"Stop being dead and go potty." Yep, I said that. Two little girls were pretending to be dead for about 3 hours yesterday. One of them was so busy being dead that she was doing the standard potty dance while laying on the living room floor. Children, even the ones who say they aren't alive, are not allowed to pee on my carpet.
"This is why we don't smoosh babies into bags." Now when I said that, I was referring to a baby doll who lost her head while being shoved into a backpack, but this is pretty good advice for people taking care of real babies, too.
"Stop chewing on the dog's bone." Unfortunately, this is said all too often. Gross.
"Monsters aren't allowed in my house." Ok, so maybe I'm not the only person to say this, but my guess is that most people say something along these lines to comfort a child who is afraid of monsters. Not in my house. It's actually a punishment. Anytime I say to stop running in the house, the kids immediately inform me that there are monsters chasing them. So I do the only logical thing I can do....I kick the invisible monsters out of my house. The kids have actually cried because the scary monsters that chase them were sent into exile.
"You can't both use the same hair tie." This has nothing to do with not sharing hair products because of lice or anything like that. This one happened when 2 girls tried to put the hair on both of their heads into the same ponytail. Hmmm....now that I think about it, this could be a step above forcing two fighting kids to hug. I could just tie them together at the scalp. I wonder if there are laws against that...
"Dinosaurs and lions are friends." While most paleontologists will probably have a problem with that statement, they have never seen two children pretending to be animals from 2 very different eras in a fight to the death.
"Birds don't like playing catch with beach balls." If you have a bird who does happen to enjoy this, I have a 2 year old here that would love to play with it.
A few more years of this and I may not be able to carry on conversations with adults!
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