I believe I am being stalked by green people. Before you reach for the phone to call the men in white coats, you need to know that I am not under the impression that extra-terrestrials are following me around, taking notes about my daily life, and making preparations to abduct me sometime in the near future. I'm not that crazy!
No, the green people I'm referring to are actually humans. The ones who have devoted their lives to keeping the environment as clean and intact as possible. Please note that I have nothing against these people. In fact, I'm pretty certain that I have a future green person living in the bedroom across the hall. I'm ok with that. I kinda like this planet. It needs activists.
I'm not having problems with any specific green individual. My stalkers exist more on the corporate level of greendom. Here's the deal. In the past, I gave my daughter (future green person) a subscription to a children's magazine all about animals, the environment, and other green topics. She loves it.
Now that the subscription is nearing expiration, my mailbox is being overloaded with reminders to renew, great discounts if I renew, and even offers of free gifts if I renew. My virtual mailbox is receiving just as many of these offers as the box outside my front door. Unfortunately for the green people, I will not renew my subscription right now because I am living in money-saving mode. Their offers are being ignored.
The other day, I received an email from this green organization telling me how disappointed my child will be if she stops getting this magazine in the mail. Really? You're gonna go there? Listen here, Mr. Green Organization: resorting to guilt-inducing tactis is just mean. As a mother, I would obviously like to continue giving my daughter something she enjoys. However, I also like having the money to pay my bills in full each month. And in a head-to-head competition, bills will beat magazine subscriptions every single time.
Five minutes after I read the email designed to make me feel like a horribly mean mother, the mailman came. He brought me an offer from the green people. It was offering me a free something-or-other that "your child is sure to love" as a thank you gift for renewing.
If at first, guilt doesn't succeed, resort to bribery. Nice try, green people.
Suddenly, in the last 4 days, I began getting offers for children's magazines from two other green organizations. Guilt didn't work. Bribery didn't work. So they sold me.
Today I got something in the mail from Green Organization #1. It had nothing to do with magazines. It just asked for a donation. Apparently, they had to make it clear that even if I no longer have a child interested in the magazine, they are still willing to take my money. This would have been more successful had they tried this approach before they began their adventures in harassment.
I wonder if the green people realize how much paper they have wasted because of their stalking strategy. It's very un-green.
Ok, I have to ask. How is one a Green Person if they are wasting paper on useless advertising? Its not like we all need a reminder if we dont respond to you. It simply means NOT INTERESTED. You should write them back and tell them that your daughter is no longer interested in a company that would rather take her money then save a tree.
ReplyDeleteOne or two reminders isn't bad. Several reminders every week, even though some of them are electronic, is a bit much.
ReplyDeleteI hope all those mailers are printed on recycled paper! At the very least, that would make them kinda green-ish.