I am single. I embrace a lot of things about being single. I don't have to get anyone else's opinion about what's for dinner, where to go on vacation, how to spend money, or what to do this Friday night. I am the sole authority in my home and I kind of like it that way.
Don't get me wrong...I would love to be married and have more kids one day. But until that happens, I am loving the life I have now.
That being said, there are times that I truly wish there was a husband around. You know....times like the ones listed below.
1. In the presence of a big, hairy spider.
I had a big, hairy spider in my house today. And I had to get up and use my own size 6 1/2 shoe to squish him. If I had a husband, he could have squished the spider for me. And even if I had a husband that wasn't home at the time, surely he would have a shoe in the house bigger than my own. The bigger the shoe, the more distance between my hand and big, hairy spiders.
2. At the end of a big snow storm.
I love watching snowflakes gently falling from the sky. But eventually, I will have to venture out of my nice warm home to go somewhere. That means the snow needs to be shoveled. That is NOT a fun job. And it's NOT a warm job. A husband's help would definitely make that job better.
3. When the trash can is full.
I detest taking the trash out. I know it doesn't make sense, but I would rather fold laundry, do the dishes, AND scrub the bathroom than spend two minutes carrying a full trash bag from the kitchen to the outside garbage bin. And THEN drag the bin down to the curb every Sunday night? Forget it. And yes, I am aware that this is a completely irrational hatred, but it is what it is. And if I ever do get married again, that will be the one chore that I will INSIST is the husband's job.
4. When things go bump in the night.
The other night, I was in bed and was almost asleep when I heard a noise that sounded like the door to the basement closing. I was sure it was nothing, but I couldn't NOT check. I mean, let's face it. I live with my 11 year old daughter. If something happened to her because I chose NOT to investigate a strange noise in the night, I don't know that I could ever forgive myself. So I got up to check things out. So there I was, all 125 lbs of me, walking around my house with my bedside knife in one hand (don't judge me) and my cell phone in the other...with 911 already entered and waiting for me to hit the green button. I walked all around the house, opening every closet door. I even went down into the basement to make sure all was okay. Of course, there was nobody in the house. But that was definitely one of those moments that a husband in the house would have made me feel a bit better. Okay, a lot better.
5. To....umm....well....make babies.
I love being a mommy. And I absolutely want more kids. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to reproduce all by myself. And I won't have premarital sex. This means a husband will be necessary if I am ever to become pregnant again.
Being single has its perks, but sometimes it's just practical to have a husband around.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Facebook Posting: No Need to Fact Check
I'm sure that most of you have a facebook page, right? Also, most of you probably have facebook friends who copy and paste practically everything they read that sounds good. You may even be guilty of that yourself. And you know what, I'm ok with that.
Sometimes.
What I get tired of is the 412 posts I see every week telling me that the only way for me to show the world that I care about cancer (or child abuse, animal abuse, old people, the earth, my family, natural disaster victims, you get the point) is to copy and repost. They usually end with a statement like, "Will you repost? I did." You know...because people are proud of themselves for reposting someone else's thoughts to prove something that your friends should know anyway.
I mean, really? Do you think I wasn't aware of the fact that you love your daughter and feel that she is the most precious person on the planet? Facebook did NOT tell me anything new there, my friend. And if you're trying to raise awareness for worthy causes, please do something more productive than taking 3.8 seconds to copy and paste these ridiculous posts. Instead, maybe go volunteer somewhere or sponsor a fundraiser or something. And when you log into Facebook, try to share a thought that originated within your own skull.
All those posts saying that Facebook is going to start charging? Give me a break. Facebook isn't that stupid.
And that brings me to the posts that make fun of those "Facebook is going to charge you" posts. You know the ones. They usually say something along the lines of "If you don't copy and paste, Mark Zuckerberg will come to your home and punch your kitten in the face." Those are sometimes funny to read once. Once. Having 40 people repost it kind of makes it lose its effect. Ya feel me?
This week, I have started seeing a new post that is being reposted by people everywhere. It says that this year, October will have 5 Mondays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This only happens once every 823 years and it's called moneybags. You should make a wish, but you have to repost this information if you want it to come true. Yadda, yadda, yadda...
You know what happened last year? October had 5 Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. And everyone said that it was called moneybags, it only happens once every 823 years, and you should make a wish and then repost. Sound familiar?
I hate to break it to all you moneybaggers, but take a look at this calendar:
Ok. Now take a look at THIS calendar:
They look the same, right? Well, not quite. That first one is a calendar for October 2011. The second one? October 2022. Now, call me crazy, but it looks like this amazing event called moneybags will happen again in 11 years. That's a far cry from 823 years, don't ya think?
This is just one more example of how facebook is slowly turning otherwise intelligent people into braindead drones who don't see the value in verifying information before passing it along to others.
People, I know you've heard it before, but you simply cannot believe everything you read on the internet. Especially social networking sites. I mean, most people wouldn't hear someone say something in real life and then go around repeating it to everyone without even thinking about whether or not it is accurate, right? So why do it online?
Sometimes.
What I get tired of is the 412 posts I see every week telling me that the only way for me to show the world that I care about cancer (or child abuse, animal abuse, old people, the earth, my family, natural disaster victims, you get the point) is to copy and repost. They usually end with a statement like, "Will you repost? I did." You know...because people are proud of themselves for reposting someone else's thoughts to prove something that your friends should know anyway.
I mean, really? Do you think I wasn't aware of the fact that you love your daughter and feel that she is the most precious person on the planet? Facebook did NOT tell me anything new there, my friend. And if you're trying to raise awareness for worthy causes, please do something more productive than taking 3.8 seconds to copy and paste these ridiculous posts. Instead, maybe go volunteer somewhere or sponsor a fundraiser or something. And when you log into Facebook, try to share a thought that originated within your own skull.
All those posts saying that Facebook is going to start charging? Give me a break. Facebook isn't that stupid.
And that brings me to the posts that make fun of those "Facebook is going to charge you" posts. You know the ones. They usually say something along the lines of "If you don't copy and paste, Mark Zuckerberg will come to your home and punch your kitten in the face." Those are sometimes funny to read once. Once. Having 40 people repost it kind of makes it lose its effect. Ya feel me?
This week, I have started seeing a new post that is being reposted by people everywhere. It says that this year, October will have 5 Mondays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This only happens once every 823 years and it's called moneybags. You should make a wish, but you have to repost this information if you want it to come true. Yadda, yadda, yadda...
You know what happened last year? October had 5 Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. And everyone said that it was called moneybags, it only happens once every 823 years, and you should make a wish and then repost. Sound familiar?
I hate to break it to all you moneybaggers, but take a look at this calendar:
They look the same, right? Well, not quite. That first one is a calendar for October 2011. The second one? October 2022. Now, call me crazy, but it looks like this amazing event called moneybags will happen again in 11 years. That's a far cry from 823 years, don't ya think?
This is just one more example of how facebook is slowly turning otherwise intelligent people into braindead drones who don't see the value in verifying information before passing it along to others.
People, I know you've heard it before, but you simply cannot believe everything you read on the internet. Especially social networking sites. I mean, most people wouldn't hear someone say something in real life and then go around repeating it to everyone without even thinking about whether or not it is accurate, right? So why do it online?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A Back to School Mommy Rant
Most people have probably seen the above commercial. It's definitely a cute, creative, and catchy ad. And I've gotta admit, that song has been stuck in my head more than once.
But this morning, I saw the commercial again. And I heard something that I hadn't really noticed before. This music teacher actually says, "If your kids want to sound cool, they have to look cool."
Ummm.....That statement, sir, makes you a jerk.
I know that if my kid's band teacher were to say that to me or my child, he would find himself dodging various musical instruments that I would be hurling in his direction.
Yes, I know I'm overreacting. No, I'm not actually angry. I am fully aware of the fact that this ad is supposed to be a cute little song that sticks in people's heads. And that's exactly what it is, so they accomplished their goal. But I woke up cranky and now I want to throw things at a teacher who is actually only an actor. Don't judge my kid by her clothes. Jerk.
Sidenote: My child's school requires uniforms. She'll be going to school without denim, graphic tees, leggings, or tunics...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Love Like A Child
It is my goal to stay childlike in many ways. I want to have faith like a child, I want to have childlike innocence, I want to always maintain a childlike level of curiosity, and I never want to lose the boldness that I had as a child. That boldness allows me to stand up and say NO when I don't like something that's going on around me. But there is one aspect of children's behavior that kind of scares me. The way they "fall in love." When little kids get boyfriends and girlfriends, their actions range from hilarious to downright creepy.
Fidelity.
Let's take a look at my daughter's kindergarten experience with boyfriends. My sweet, precious, adorable little girl came home from kindergarten one day and happily announced, "Mom, I have a white boyfriend and a black boyfriend!" So after I stopped giggling, I found myself trying to explain to a 5 year old that, while it's great to be open to dating a variety of boys, you really should only have one at a time. ((sigh))
Weddings.
Fast forward a few years. My child came home from 3rd grade and told me she needed to bring purple flowers to school the next day. When I asked her why she needed them, she told me that her friends, R and T, are getting married and they needed purple flowers to decorate. These 9 year olds had planned an entire wedding. There were colors chosen, plastic rings, the wedding party and even an officiant appointed. If little R is already this picky about her wedding, I'm afraid she may grow up to be the biggest Bridezilla in history!
The chase is on.
As adults, men who are trying to attract the interest of a woman are said to be pursuing her. As children, the boys literally pursue the little girls. These girls are physically chased around the playground by the boys who love them. I've gotta admit, I'm pretty glad the idea of "chasing" girls changes from literal to metaphorical as we get older. Can you imagine if this carried over into adulthood? Yikes!
Just downright creepy.
I get the opportunity to be around a large number of elementary kids. One of those kids is a little 6 year old girl who has a huge crush on a little boy from school. This child sat down and wrote her love interest's first, middle, and last name over and over until it filled an entire piece of notebook paper. She then taped that paper to her door. This made perfect sense to her, and isn't creepy at all when a little girl does it. But this, my friends, is VERY CREEPY BEHAVIOR. If I was dating someone and decided to hang out at his place, a piece of paper displaying my full name written a couple dozen times and taped to his bedroom door would terrify me.
I know you all have examples of schoolyard love, so please go ahead and share them in the comment section. :)
Fidelity.
Let's take a look at my daughter's kindergarten experience with boyfriends. My sweet, precious, adorable little girl came home from kindergarten one day and happily announced, "Mom, I have a white boyfriend and a black boyfriend!" So after I stopped giggling, I found myself trying to explain to a 5 year old that, while it's great to be open to dating a variety of boys, you really should only have one at a time. ((sigh))
Weddings.
Fast forward a few years. My child came home from 3rd grade and told me she needed to bring purple flowers to school the next day. When I asked her why she needed them, she told me that her friends, R and T, are getting married and they needed purple flowers to decorate. These 9 year olds had planned an entire wedding. There were colors chosen, plastic rings, the wedding party and even an officiant appointed. If little R is already this picky about her wedding, I'm afraid she may grow up to be the biggest Bridezilla in history!
The chase is on.
As adults, men who are trying to attract the interest of a woman are said to be pursuing her. As children, the boys literally pursue the little girls. These girls are physically chased around the playground by the boys who love them. I've gotta admit, I'm pretty glad the idea of "chasing" girls changes from literal to metaphorical as we get older. Can you imagine if this carried over into adulthood? Yikes!
Just downright creepy.
I get the opportunity to be around a large number of elementary kids. One of those kids is a little 6 year old girl who has a huge crush on a little boy from school. This child sat down and wrote her love interest's first, middle, and last name over and over until it filled an entire piece of notebook paper. She then taped that paper to her door. This made perfect sense to her, and isn't creepy at all when a little girl does it. But this, my friends, is VERY CREEPY BEHAVIOR. If I was dating someone and decided to hang out at his place, a piece of paper displaying my full name written a couple dozen times and taped to his bedroom door would terrify me.
I know you all have examples of schoolyard love, so please go ahead and share them in the comment section. :)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Things I Get To Say
I love my job. Having a home daycare allows me to be home with my daughter, it allows me to touch the lives of many children, it allows me to do housework throughout the day so I can just relax in the evenings, I don't have a boss to answer to, and the list of perks could go on and on. One of the less obvious benefits is that I get to say things throughout the day that most other people will never say through the course of an entire lifetime. For example:
"Stop being dead and go potty." Yep, I said that. Two little girls were pretending to be dead for about 3 hours yesterday. One of them was so busy being dead that she was doing the standard potty dance while laying on the living room floor. Children, even the ones who say they aren't alive, are not allowed to pee on my carpet.
"This is why we don't smoosh babies into bags." Now when I said that, I was referring to a baby doll who lost her head while being shoved into a backpack, but this is pretty good advice for people taking care of real babies, too.
"Stop chewing on the dog's bone." Unfortunately, this is said all too often. Gross.
"Monsters aren't allowed in my house." Ok, so maybe I'm not the only person to say this, but my guess is that most people say something along these lines to comfort a child who is afraid of monsters. Not in my house. It's actually a punishment. Anytime I say to stop running in the house, the kids immediately inform me that there are monsters chasing them. So I do the only logical thing I can do....I kick the invisible monsters out of my house. The kids have actually cried because the scary monsters that chase them were sent into exile.
"You can't both use the same hair tie." This has nothing to do with not sharing hair products because of lice or anything like that. This one happened when 2 girls tried to put the hair on both of their heads into the same ponytail. Hmmm....now that I think about it, this could be a step above forcing two fighting kids to hug. I could just tie them together at the scalp. I wonder if there are laws against that...
"Dinosaurs and lions are friends." While most paleontologists will probably have a problem with that statement, they have never seen two children pretending to be animals from 2 very different eras in a fight to the death.
"Birds don't like playing catch with beach balls." If you have a bird who does happen to enjoy this, I have a 2 year old here that would love to play with it.
A few more years of this and I may not be able to carry on conversations with adults!
"Stop being dead and go potty." Yep, I said that. Two little girls were pretending to be dead for about 3 hours yesterday. One of them was so busy being dead that she was doing the standard potty dance while laying on the living room floor. Children, even the ones who say they aren't alive, are not allowed to pee on my carpet.
"This is why we don't smoosh babies into bags." Now when I said that, I was referring to a baby doll who lost her head while being shoved into a backpack, but this is pretty good advice for people taking care of real babies, too.
"Stop chewing on the dog's bone." Unfortunately, this is said all too often. Gross.
"Monsters aren't allowed in my house." Ok, so maybe I'm not the only person to say this, but my guess is that most people say something along these lines to comfort a child who is afraid of monsters. Not in my house. It's actually a punishment. Anytime I say to stop running in the house, the kids immediately inform me that there are monsters chasing them. So I do the only logical thing I can do....I kick the invisible monsters out of my house. The kids have actually cried because the scary monsters that chase them were sent into exile.
"You can't both use the same hair tie." This has nothing to do with not sharing hair products because of lice or anything like that. This one happened when 2 girls tried to put the hair on both of their heads into the same ponytail. Hmmm....now that I think about it, this could be a step above forcing two fighting kids to hug. I could just tie them together at the scalp. I wonder if there are laws against that...
"Dinosaurs and lions are friends." While most paleontologists will probably have a problem with that statement, they have never seen two children pretending to be animals from 2 very different eras in a fight to the death.
"Birds don't like playing catch with beach balls." If you have a bird who does happen to enjoy this, I have a 2 year old here that would love to play with it.
A few more years of this and I may not be able to carry on conversations with adults!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Being Single Cracks Me Up
The single life is relatively new to me. My marriage ended about a year and a half ago. I have decided that I would like to meet someone and possibly get married again at some point in the future. Being single gets lonely sometimes, but you know what? I have learned that it can be pretty darn funny, too. In the short time that I have been back on the dating scene, I have found myself in situations that I once thought could only happen in fiction. For example:
Laughable situation #1: In my infinite wisdom, I decided I would reconnect with a guy I dated years ago. I know, I know...an ex is an ex for a reason and I should have left him in the past. Well I didn't. He was stationed in Afghanistan at the time, so we were communicating via phone calls and the internet. During this time, he decided that he wanted to try to work things out with another of his exes. Instead of simply telling me that, he took steps to make me believe he had been blown up. His plan didn't work. Mostly because it was a stupid idea and I have a brain. When it didn't work between him and the other ex, he tried to reconnect with me again. Sorry, buddy...I can't date people who have been blown to pieces. Better luck next time.
Laughable situation #2: I met a college professor from Switzerland. He had been teaching in the US for a couple of years, but still spent his summers in Switzerland. He and I had some amazing conversations and I really enjoyed getting to know him. But only until I heard from an Australian woman who informed me that she was married to this Swiss guy. I promptly apologized, told her I had no clue he was married, and ended all communication with this man. Now this is a sad story because this husband's actions were devastating to his family. But it also falls into the "laughable" category because...really? Who, other than me, manages to find themselves in the middle of drama that spans 3 continents? Sheesh!
Laughable situation #3: A friend introduced me to a man who lives about 3 hours away. We were getting to know each other through phone calls, text messages, and of course, facebook. Then the creepiness began. One day, this man called my home phone, but I didn't answer because I was busy cooking and my hands were a mess. He left a message and then called my cell phone. Obviously he didn't know that I was home, so that makes sense. He left a message on that voicemail, too. Fine. Then he sent a text. Really? That's a bit much. I finished cooking, washed my hands, and decided to check my email before calling him back. That's when I discovered that, in addition to the 2 phone calls and the text, he had also emailed me AND sent me a message on facebook. All just to say hi!!! This, my friends, is what you call going overboard. And it's not just dangling a foot overboard. This is the creepy, makes me want to change my contact info kind of overboard. That was the last day I ever spoke to that man. I informed him that if he can make me feel smothered from 200 miles away, I'd be afraid to get any closer. Yikes!
Laughable situation #4: I enjoy running in the park. I went for a run the other night and, after I had been running for quite some time, I passed a rather attractive guy who was stretching by his car. There was a brief moment of eye contact, but I was running past and I refuse to turn my head for a second look when I am a gross, sweaty mess. About a minute later, I heard the quick footsteps of someone running up behind me. As he was passing, I looked over and saw that it was that guy, who was not yet out of breath, sweaty, or gross. He smiled and said, "Let's race." I smiled back and breathlessly responded, "Yeah, right." He smiled again, playfully nudged my arm, and said, "Come on, you can keep up." I laughed. Well, kind of. Real laughing isn't really possible when you're panting instead of breathing. He smiled one more time, returned to his much faster pace, and disappeared around the curve ahead. Congratulations, Mr. Running Guy. You have managed to flirt a bit, start a conversation, AND make me feel completely out of shape....all at the same time. Now that's talent!
Laughable situation #5: There are many different ways to approach women. I recently had a man approach me using what may have been the worst method anyone has ever used to start a conversation with me. This man, who I've met briefly two times before, walked up to me and said, "What's poppin, Baby?" RED LIGHT!!! Stop...right...there! Let me break this down. If we barely know each other, please refrain from from using relationship-style pet names while addressing me. Stick with my first name. At least then I would know that you actually remember my name. Not only that, but this man is a self-proclaimed country boy who lives in the Midwest. The words "what's poppin" coming out of his mouth sounded so forced and awkward that it was almost painful to hear. Instead of sounding cool, or smooth, or whatever he was going for, he sounded so ridiculous that I had to end the conversation and walk away quickly to prevent him from seeing me giggle. Please, guys. Just be yourself. It works a lot better!
I know that there are good Christian men out there somewhere. But I wonder how long it will be until I meet someone who doesn't make me walk away before we even make it to a first date...
Laughable situation #1: In my infinite wisdom, I decided I would reconnect with a guy I dated years ago. I know, I know...an ex is an ex for a reason and I should have left him in the past. Well I didn't. He was stationed in Afghanistan at the time, so we were communicating via phone calls and the internet. During this time, he decided that he wanted to try to work things out with another of his exes. Instead of simply telling me that, he took steps to make me believe he had been blown up. His plan didn't work. Mostly because it was a stupid idea and I have a brain. When it didn't work between him and the other ex, he tried to reconnect with me again. Sorry, buddy...I can't date people who have been blown to pieces. Better luck next time.
Laughable situation #2: I met a college professor from Switzerland. He had been teaching in the US for a couple of years, but still spent his summers in Switzerland. He and I had some amazing conversations and I really enjoyed getting to know him. But only until I heard from an Australian woman who informed me that she was married to this Swiss guy. I promptly apologized, told her I had no clue he was married, and ended all communication with this man. Now this is a sad story because this husband's actions were devastating to his family. But it also falls into the "laughable" category because...really? Who, other than me, manages to find themselves in the middle of drama that spans 3 continents? Sheesh!
Laughable situation #3: A friend introduced me to a man who lives about 3 hours away. We were getting to know each other through phone calls, text messages, and of course, facebook. Then the creepiness began. One day, this man called my home phone, but I didn't answer because I was busy cooking and my hands were a mess. He left a message and then called my cell phone. Obviously he didn't know that I was home, so that makes sense. He left a message on that voicemail, too. Fine. Then he sent a text. Really? That's a bit much. I finished cooking, washed my hands, and decided to check my email before calling him back. That's when I discovered that, in addition to the 2 phone calls and the text, he had also emailed me AND sent me a message on facebook. All just to say hi!!! This, my friends, is what you call going overboard. And it's not just dangling a foot overboard. This is the creepy, makes me want to change my contact info kind of overboard. That was the last day I ever spoke to that man. I informed him that if he can make me feel smothered from 200 miles away, I'd be afraid to get any closer. Yikes!
Laughable situation #4: I enjoy running in the park. I went for a run the other night and, after I had been running for quite some time, I passed a rather attractive guy who was stretching by his car. There was a brief moment of eye contact, but I was running past and I refuse to turn my head for a second look when I am a gross, sweaty mess. About a minute later, I heard the quick footsteps of someone running up behind me. As he was passing, I looked over and saw that it was that guy, who was not yet out of breath, sweaty, or gross. He smiled and said, "Let's race." I smiled back and breathlessly responded, "Yeah, right." He smiled again, playfully nudged my arm, and said, "Come on, you can keep up." I laughed. Well, kind of. Real laughing isn't really possible when you're panting instead of breathing. He smiled one more time, returned to his much faster pace, and disappeared around the curve ahead. Congratulations, Mr. Running Guy. You have managed to flirt a bit, start a conversation, AND make me feel completely out of shape....all at the same time. Now that's talent!
Laughable situation #5: There are many different ways to approach women. I recently had a man approach me using what may have been the worst method anyone has ever used to start a conversation with me. This man, who I've met briefly two times before, walked up to me and said, "What's poppin, Baby?" RED LIGHT!!! Stop...right...there! Let me break this down. If we barely know each other, please refrain from from using relationship-style pet names while addressing me. Stick with my first name. At least then I would know that you actually remember my name. Not only that, but this man is a self-proclaimed country boy who lives in the Midwest. The words "what's poppin" coming out of his mouth sounded so forced and awkward that it was almost painful to hear. Instead of sounding cool, or smooth, or whatever he was going for, he sounded so ridiculous that I had to end the conversation and walk away quickly to prevent him from seeing me giggle. Please, guys. Just be yourself. It works a lot better!
I know that there are good Christian men out there somewhere. But I wonder how long it will be until I meet someone who doesn't make me walk away before we even make it to a first date...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Ms. Love and the Green People
I believe I am being stalked by green people. Before you reach for the phone to call the men in white coats, you need to know that I am not under the impression that extra-terrestrials are following me around, taking notes about my daily life, and making preparations to abduct me sometime in the near future. I'm not that crazy!
No, the green people I'm referring to are actually humans. The ones who have devoted their lives to keeping the environment as clean and intact as possible. Please note that I have nothing against these people. In fact, I'm pretty certain that I have a future green person living in the bedroom across the hall. I'm ok with that. I kinda like this planet. It needs activists.
I'm not having problems with any specific green individual. My stalkers exist more on the corporate level of greendom. Here's the deal. In the past, I gave my daughter (future green person) a subscription to a children's magazine all about animals, the environment, and other green topics. She loves it.
Now that the subscription is nearing expiration, my mailbox is being overloaded with reminders to renew, great discounts if I renew, and even offers of free gifts if I renew. My virtual mailbox is receiving just as many of these offers as the box outside my front door. Unfortunately for the green people, I will not renew my subscription right now because I am living in money-saving mode. Their offers are being ignored.
The other day, I received an email from this green organization telling me how disappointed my child will be if she stops getting this magazine in the mail. Really? You're gonna go there? Listen here, Mr. Green Organization: resorting to guilt-inducing tactis is just mean. As a mother, I would obviously like to continue giving my daughter something she enjoys. However, I also like having the money to pay my bills in full each month. And in a head-to-head competition, bills will beat magazine subscriptions every single time.
Five minutes after I read the email designed to make me feel like a horribly mean mother, the mailman came. He brought me an offer from the green people. It was offering me a free something-or-other that "your child is sure to love" as a thank you gift for renewing.
If at first, guilt doesn't succeed, resort to bribery. Nice try, green people.
Suddenly, in the last 4 days, I began getting offers for children's magazines from two other green organizations. Guilt didn't work. Bribery didn't work. So they sold me.
Today I got something in the mail from Green Organization #1. It had nothing to do with magazines. It just asked for a donation. Apparently, they had to make it clear that even if I no longer have a child interested in the magazine, they are still willing to take my money. This would have been more successful had they tried this approach before they began their adventures in harassment.
I wonder if the green people realize how much paper they have wasted because of their stalking strategy. It's very un-green.
No, the green people I'm referring to are actually humans. The ones who have devoted their lives to keeping the environment as clean and intact as possible. Please note that I have nothing against these people. In fact, I'm pretty certain that I have a future green person living in the bedroom across the hall. I'm ok with that. I kinda like this planet. It needs activists.
I'm not having problems with any specific green individual. My stalkers exist more on the corporate level of greendom. Here's the deal. In the past, I gave my daughter (future green person) a subscription to a children's magazine all about animals, the environment, and other green topics. She loves it.
Now that the subscription is nearing expiration, my mailbox is being overloaded with reminders to renew, great discounts if I renew, and even offers of free gifts if I renew. My virtual mailbox is receiving just as many of these offers as the box outside my front door. Unfortunately for the green people, I will not renew my subscription right now because I am living in money-saving mode. Their offers are being ignored.
The other day, I received an email from this green organization telling me how disappointed my child will be if she stops getting this magazine in the mail. Really? You're gonna go there? Listen here, Mr. Green Organization: resorting to guilt-inducing tactis is just mean. As a mother, I would obviously like to continue giving my daughter something she enjoys. However, I also like having the money to pay my bills in full each month. And in a head-to-head competition, bills will beat magazine subscriptions every single time.
Five minutes after I read the email designed to make me feel like a horribly mean mother, the mailman came. He brought me an offer from the green people. It was offering me a free something-or-other that "your child is sure to love" as a thank you gift for renewing.
If at first, guilt doesn't succeed, resort to bribery. Nice try, green people.
Suddenly, in the last 4 days, I began getting offers for children's magazines from two other green organizations. Guilt didn't work. Bribery didn't work. So they sold me.
Today I got something in the mail from Green Organization #1. It had nothing to do with magazines. It just asked for a donation. Apparently, they had to make it clear that even if I no longer have a child interested in the magazine, they are still willing to take my money. This would have been more successful had they tried this approach before they began their adventures in harassment.
I wonder if the green people realize how much paper they have wasted because of their stalking strategy. It's very un-green.
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